kumir_k9 | Ick, just... ick

I came home last night with plans to finish up some stuff early and get to bed at a reasonable hour to make up for the late night Sunday night. The flies had other plans.

Upon walking into the kitchen I discovered a layer of flies coating our big bay window. I'm talking probably 100 flies, the big, thick icky house flies. This was gross. I won't repeat it. Assume that I want to repeat it every couple of sentences because it was thoroughly disgusting. *shudder* We're not talking fruit flies. These were the big, squishy, gross looking house flies, the kind you shoo away from your food at picnics.

I grabbed a newspaper and began a massive killing spree; all-out one-man war. It should be noted that the AC in the house was down so low that it was actually cold in the house. This was the one good thing about this because the enemy was huddled for warmth on the one space that had sunlight coming in and as a result of the temperature most of them were sluggish.

In the early stages of the campaign I was killing 5 -7 flies per melee round and I was doing massive damage. They were dropping like... well, flies. Bodies were either dropping to the floor or becoming bloody, gooey smears across the window. And through it all, they kept regrouping on the window, heedless of their impending doom.

I reached a point where I couldn't deal with the sight of the carnage any more and pulled out the vaccuum cleaner to suck up the corpses from the floor. Yeah, they were literally that thick. Then I had a brilliant idea and started sucking some of the slower ones off the window. They were too slow and just let me get close enough for the suction to pull them in. So I moved from hand-to-hand combat to instruments of mass destruction. It was glorious and a lot less messy, but some of the foe were too quick for this. Darwin had done about as much as he could. It was time for a new strategy, chemical warfare.

The vertical battlefield was still a bloody mess, so I got out the Windex and cleaned up the inital damage. As I was wiping bloody corpses off the window it occured to me that the flies wouldn't see the Windex coming and it might weigh them down and it might act a nerve gas. Sure enough, two quick squirts was enough to get even the quickest of them and they just sat there and couldn't move as I swooped in upon them and crushed the life out of them.

All told, the entire process took about an hour and a half to get them all and leave the place so that Monique wouldn't freak out when she got home.

It totally blew my plans for the evening and instead of 9:00, I didn't get to bed until 11:15.